Pepper Sprout

Heh heh heh :)

2008-06-03T07:15:00.000-07:00

Yo yo, 'sup 'sup?

2008-05-19T18:57:00.000-07:00

Apologies for the title. I answered the phone with that exact phrase the other day when I thought Michael was calling, and then a very confused Mema said "Um, hello?" Sorry about that, Mema. Your daughter and son-in-law have the mentalities of 14 year olds.

Anywhoo, the three of us are battling mild colds right now, and since sudaphed robs me of the ability to think coherently, I'm going to post a few photos instead of the writen post I've been intending to do.

Spring's exploding here, and Mema asked me to photograph the amazing scotch broom plant and irises outside of their newly blue home. I also snapped a photo of a nest of house finches which is in a shrub right outside our bedroom window. This is actually the second brood of the season that hatched in this shrub. The quality is fairly poor as the photo was taken through the window screen, but if you look close, you'll see a curious fuzzy and beaked head. The final pictures are from last Tuesday when we went with Mema to check out one of the state parks nearby. She rented a little fishing boat with a small motor for us to putter around the lake in, and it was Jack's very first time in a boat. I tried first to man the motor, but after several minutes of embarassed bungling while the two teenaged attendants (one of whom could have been Clay Aiken's twin brother) watched from the dock, Mema took over and handled business. Thanks, Mema!

And your mama dresses you funny

2008-04-22T08:54:00.001-07:00

Wow! A post!

Well, after a 4 month absence, I'm dipping my toe back in the blogging waters. I'll spare you the boring "why I haven't been posting" post and just try to be better about it.

More soon!

The season is upon us now

2007-12-21T06:32:00.001-08:00

A time for gifts and giving
And as the year draws to its close
I think about my living

The Christmastime when I was young
The magic and the wonder
But colors dull and candles dim
And dark my standing under

Oh little angel, shining light
You've set my soul to dreaming
You've given back my joy in life
You've filled me with new meaning

A Savior King was born that day
A baby just like you
And as the Magi came with gifts
I've come with my gift too

That peace on earth fills up your time
That brotherhood surrounds you
That you may know the warmth of love
And wrap it all around you

(John Denver)

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!!!

??

2007-12-03T20:00:00.000-08:00

In anticipation of the loads and loads of crafty Holiday decorations I'll no doubt complete before Christmas, I recently purchased a hot glue gun at Big Lots for the reasonable sum of 1.00. Unfortunately, the glue gun I bought is apparently not intended for crafts, but is instead some sort of tool for obstetricians:

Great sandwich for toddlers

2007-12-03T13:05:00.001-08:00

I thought I'd share this simple sandwich I came up with today, since Jack devoured it and loved every bite.

Here are the ingredients:

1 ripe avocado
1 pita
cheese (whatever kind your toddler likes - in this case sharp cheddar)
ranch dressing

Cut around the pita to create to circular halves. Put a thin coating of ranch on one side, then add a thin layer of cheese. Broil this side in the toaster oven to melt the cheese. Meanwhile mash the avocado to create a smooth paste and spread it on the other half. Once the cheese side is melted, put the halves together. You can pop it back in to warm the whole thing if you wish. Cut into wedges small enough for your child to handle, and serve.

I think I'm going to start making all his sandwiches on pita bread. Sometimes regular bread just seems like it's too thick for a toddler to try and eat.

loldog

2007-12-02T21:26:00.000-08:00

These are best viewed under conditions of extreme sleep deprivation for maximum funny.

Stream of 28 month old consciousness

2007-11-21T18:41:00.000-08:00

Right now I'm supposed to be starting an orzo and roast vegetables dish for Thanksgiving tomorrow, but I had to write down Jack's bedtime conversation while it's fresh in my mind. These streams of thought are pretty typical after an exciting and fun day. Here are a few small snippets of what he was saying as I rocked him to sleep tonight (after he'd spent the afternoon with family):

"This is a tendon (feeling the front of my neck). Swiper will swipe your tendon! Swiper no swiping! 'Oh maaan!' Swiper groaned!"

(Fans of Dora books/show will know about Swiper, the fox who steals things)

Then

"It snows. Snow is cold, and you shovel snow. I go a palace. I go a wall. Jack climb a wall. Spiderman climb a wall. Auntie Sarah climb a wall. Pop Pop climb a wall. Aunt Betsy jump, jump, JUMP a wall!"

(apparently he's forgotten about Aunt Betsy's recent knee surgery...)

and a few minutes later...

"Mommy go nite nite soon. Pop Pop love to sleep. Auntie Sarah love to sleep. Flowers love to sleep. And Grover sleeps, and Elmo sleeps, and cheetahs sleep, and beetles sleep, and beetle cars sleep, and the moon sleeps."

Memory Like an Elephant's

2007-11-13T15:19:00.000-08:00

At the park a few months ago...

"What's that, Mommy?"

"That's a skateboard."

"Can I ride it?"

"You can ride a skateboard when you're a big boy."

A few nights ago getting ready for bed...

"Can I have some ninny, Mommy?" (asking to nurse)

"Well, honey, that's what you did when you were little. But you're a big boy now, right?"

(thinks for a second)

"Can I ride a skateboard?"

Happy Belated Halloween!

2007-11-05T18:59:00.001-08:00

Due to the fact that Jack and I were on a wonderful visit with my sister and her family in NY for Halloween, I had to delay in posting about the festivities. Michael and I were invited to a party the Saturday before Halloween, and since October 31st was the 23 anniversary of the first time we met, we decided it would be appropriate to step back in time and dress as ourselves back in the good old 80's. Here is a picture of us at the party (thanks, K & J for a fantastic time!):

(If you think our giant hair is an exaggeration for effect, take a gander at this photo of us getting ready for our prom in 1986.)

As for Jack, he dressed in blue in honor of his Uncle Barry, who, along with my parents, sis, and my adorable nieces and nephew, we had the pleasure of spending Halloween this year:

Now that's one cute cop.

Friday Morning Headlights

2007-10-05T08:48:00.000-07:00

Is it just me, or is this a most unfortunate choice of shirt?

I was watching the Today Show this morning, and almost spat my coffee out when I saw this woman's wardrobe. I had to snap a photo. Perhaps this is a Seinfeld "puffy shirt" situation, but if not, WHY DIDN'T ANYONE STOP HER?

Even her co-star can't seem to take his eyes off them.

First Haircut

2007-10-02T18:20:00.001-07:00

No tears, no worries! He even wanted to go back later for another haircut. I have an envelope full of blond curls, these pictures, and a great video where Mema captured him saying hello to another stylist who wandered over for a peek, and telling her "I'm doing good!"

I am amazed when I look at these pictures. Notice how going from the "before" pictures to the "after" picture, you literally see him transformed from baby to boy.

Today you would have turned 6

2007-09-15T16:40:00.000-07:00

I cannot believe that 6 years have passed since your birth, and yet I can picture your face as if it were yesterday. Know that you are loved and missed, beloved daughter, and that everything I do for and with your little brother, I do for and with you.

Love,
Mama

Pinched for time

2007-09-05T20:16:00.001-07:00

Less free time = more photos on blog :)

Took these in the yard on Monday.

Prudence panting after raquetball.

Gus panting after raquetball.

Michael, with closeup of the photographer and her dog (in his sunglasses)

Sweet boy.

The look of love is in your eyes

2007-08-29T21:43:00.000-07:00

I don't know whose breath was worse, but neither of us let it spoil the moment.
(Thanks for the great shot, Sharon)

Bluegrass & Flash

2007-08-15T04:53:00.000-07:00

I'm not sure if it is because Jack has reached a slightly more independent stage, or if it's because I turned 36 recently and am now aware that I'm closer to the age of 40 than the age of 30, but I've lately been consumed with a desire to learn new things. For my birthday this year, Michael surprised me with a beautiful gift. A lovely blue A-style mandolin. Have you ever seen that scene in Fight Club, where Tyler Durden is asking everyone in the car what's the one thing that they'd like to do before they die? Well, for me, playing a musical instrument would have been my answer. I'd been talking about pursuing mandolin for awhile, but I guess I needed Michael to take the next step to push me on. This gift is very dear to me, because I know that we can hardly afford it, and so I intend to learn it. Although I am currently working on four separate website projects, I'm trying to find a way to squeeze in a little mandolin time here and there, even if it means sitting beside the tub while Jack has his bath, and plunking a few chords.

In some ways, learning this instrument reminds me of when I started breastfeeding; I'm holding something beautiful on my lap that is filled with potential, and I have no idea what I'm doing. It also involves some VERY sore skin, only this time it's on my fingers. Like nursing though, I am sure it is worth the work in the end if you stick with it. I only hope that in a year from now, I am at least able to play on a rudimentary level. I have not yet begun lessons - I'm trying to grasp the basics of bluegrass, and the history of the music so that I don't walk in to lessons as a completely blank slate. In the meantime, I have found some amazing things online; an online tuner, and online metronome and lots and lots of video tutorials. I'm a visual learner, so this is very helpful. Yet another reason I love the internet.

As I mentioned earlier, I am working on a few website projects, and so in addition to trying to learn the mandolin, I am also learning Creative Suite 3, in particular Flash CS3, the latest software version from Adobe. The entire CS3 software package is incredible, and is another example of something with huge creative potential, about which I know very little. I'm so determined to master the software that I find myself literally sprinting to the computer the moment Jack goes down for his nap. I'm tired of being a beginner.

It's been interesting finding a balance between being a mother and wife, and attending to my own interests. Far from being frustrating, I've found this new drive to be exactly what I needed. When Jack is awake, or when I want to have some time with Michael, I am pretty good at walking away from the books, the computer, and the instrument. To feel complete though, you've got to pursue your own hobby. I see what fly fishing means to Michael, and how he makes time for it even if he's busy. You've got to have your own thing, you know?

In Jack news, he's doing great. We take many outings during the week with Aunt Sharon and Caroline, and he's having a ball. He also just learned to jump with both feet, and it took about 5 minutes for him to want to try it out on the bed. Even reminding him of the 10 Little Monkeys did not squelch the bed-jumping urge. Here's a recent picture of him getting me in a choke-hold hug:

Working once again

2007-08-01T07:37:00.000-07:00

Well, after going through some fits and starts with regards to my art, I've finally been getting some work done. I'm now doing commissioned portraits for a very interesting client. He doesn't pay well, but I like his ideas. For instance, this portrait of him in a rocket ship with baby spiders:

Or this one of him as an astronaut with sticky tape:

It feels great to be creating again, even if my client has an annoying habit of erasing my work before I'm finished.

Nutso

2007-07-16T07:09:00.000-07:00

"So, now that Jack is 2 are you going to let him try peanut butter?"

"Yup."

"When?"

"Let's just say I have a plan."

"Ha, ha. I suppose you could drive to the ER parking lot and let him try it there!"

"................."

"Oh. My. God."

"Well, YOU thought of it too!"

"Yes, I was thinking of the craziest circumstances under which to let him try peanut butter."

"Still..."

lightening strikes

2007-07-08T06:23:00.000-07:00

Hello! Apologies for no posts lately. I was really hoping to write a post on Jack's 2nd birthday, along with pictures, but a lightening strike last week fried our computer (and, oddly, the filter on my fish tank - fishies fine!). Michael has temporarily rigged his server so that I can have internet access, but it's quite basic. Good for a little surfing and e-mail checking, but I no longer have access to any of my photo editing software, and I have no way of uploading new photos. Alas, the birthday/pic post will have to wait until Michael can rebuild my computer.

In the meantime, I give you this to enjoy. I especially love the last picture, with the bow on the door.

Word power

2007-06-24T08:52:00.000-07:00

At 12:30 a.m. Jack started to fuss. Michael and I laid there a few minutes, listening to the monitor and hoping he'd fall back asleep. After a few minutes, we started with "Do you think he's hungry?" "Maybe he's hot?" and then Michael said "Could it be his teeth?" So I got up to check in and when I walked into his room, Jack stood and said "Teeth hurt!" "Do you need medicine?" I asked. "Medicine." he agreed.

While this may seem like a small thing, it was a really big moment. One of the hardest things about having a baby is when something's wrong and they can't tell you. Really makes you appreciate the power of language, doesn't it?

Yo Daddy-O's!

2007-06-17T12:11:00.000-07:00

Happy Father's Day to my wonderful Dad, and to Michael, the man who I am fortunate to have as the father of my children. Also a very Happy Father's Day to all the other amazing dads I have the pleasure of knowing. You all know who you are.

Me and muh dad back in the day.

A picture which clearly illustrates from
whom I inherited my frighteningly white legs.

Jack at the river with Michael.

Additionally, I am posting this picture of me with my beautiful mom. I got the idea to do a Father's Day post after seeing one on someone else's blog, and then realized that I would be remiss if I did not add a belated Mother's Day nod to my terrific mom.

Love you Mom!

So proud

2007-06-11T14:43:00.000-07:00

Today I received not only my first unsolicited "Please" from Jack, he followed it up immediately with his first unsolicited "Thank you." He asked if I could help him find his new firetruck, and said "Please firetruck." When I found it and handed it to him he said "Thanks, Mommy!" And before his second birthday, too. What a guy!

O.K.

2007-05-27T18:04:00.000-07:00

So here's my feeble attempt at an update on all things happening. I read other blogs where the posts are linear and clever, and well-written. This post promises none of that, so consider yourself forewarned ;) By the way, are emoticons acceptable in the blogosphere or is it nerdy? Must look into that...

But I digress. Life here has gotten very busy with lots of big changes. Our best friends Sharon and Bill relocated here from Chicago with their 4 year old daughter, Caroline. This is something we've dreamed of for many years, and I don't think it has quite sunk in that they LIVE here, and aren't just visiting. I still find myself thinking we have to hurry and squeeze in all the fun stuff, but then I stop myself and realize that there is plenty of time for everything. It's been exciting for us, though stressful for them, as they get settled in. I look forward to when they are all rested and ready to explore this wonderful place to which they've moved. I have joked with them that even though we've been living here for 7 years, they will have to teach us about all the cool stuff to do around here. They're just those kind of folks - they find the neato places and go explore. Even before they moved here Sharon was sending me links to websites about places right here I'd never even known existed.

On another note, Jack is in love. Up until now he has never really paid much attention to other kids, but Caroline has totally rocked his world. He talks about her constantly, and pronounces her name with the emphasis on the "line," as in "CaroLINE." He tries to copy everything she does, and really pushes himself physically when in her presence. Here's a photo of the dynamic duo on the day Caroline officially arrived:

In two days Jack will turn 23 months old. His little personality is emerging more each day. It's fun experiencing life through his eyes, and hearing him put language to thoughts and objects in some creative ways. He regularly refers to his dad as "Daddyhome." That's his name, presumably because I always exclaim "Daddy's home!" when Michael walks through the door in the evening. He is obsessed with all things mechanical and whenever we drive anywhere, he gives a running commentary from the back seat on every vehicle that passes: "Car. Red car. Big truck. School bus. Motorcycle." Much to his father's joy and my amazement, Jack has an absolutely uncanny ability to identify Jeeps. Aside from the Powerwheels Jeep our good friend gave him, we can't figure out where he picked up this knowledge. He correctly ID's all models - Cherokee, CJ, YJ, Liberty - as Jeeps regardless of color or model year. He must have learned this through osmosis once while hugging his dad. A few weeks ago, Jack and I were in a store parking lot getting ready to head home. As I climbed behind the wheel, I heard him exclaiming "Jeep! Jeep!" from the back seat. I looked up to see a navy blue Jeep coming across the lot. Jack watched silently as it passed, then added in a quiet and reverent tone "Delicious Jeep..." I think his father might have passed out with pride if he'd heard that.

In other news, I finally went legit with my little business, such as it is. I even went to the county offices and got licensed, and registered my business name. I had to hide smile as the woman informed me that I would have to pay a small licensing fee if I earn more than 100,000 before year's end. I think I'm safe. Currently I have 4 websites jobs in varying stages of completion, but no actual work going on right now. The most pathetic part is that I am a website designer who doesn't have a website. That's kind of like being a plumber who has an outhouse. Doesn't exactly inspire confidence, does it? One of these days I'll take time out to fix this.

Finally, in less than 3 weeks, my parents will be living here as well (Hi mom and dad!). Jack will soon be enjoying lots of time in Mema's house and Pop Pop's yard. We can't wait!

Greetings!

2007-05-25T13:04:00.000-07:00

I am hoping to post an update soon. Lots of things happening here, including our best friends moving to the area, and soon my parents too! Life is moving in a great new direction, and Jack is growing big as he approaches his 2nd Birthday, and talking more each day. Will post more news and pictures too in the coming days...

Thanks for continuing to check in!

Splish splash

2007-05-03T10:20:00.000-07:00

Jack (22 months old)enjoying his favorite passtime, plus a rare shot of the two of us together (I'm usually behind the lens).

Did you know it's national "turn off your television week?"

2007-04-27T18:59:00.000-07:00

Yeah, I saw something about it on TV. It's a great tool for learning about such things! ;)

Today in the yard

2007-04-20T12:51:00.000-07:00

Back yard view.

Cloud 9 dogwood.

Dandelion puff.

Bird bath with Lily of the Valley.

Tulip remnants.

In Memorium

2007-04-17T10:11:00.000-07:00

God, make me brave for life: oh, braver than this.
Let me straighten after pain, as a tree straightens after the rain,
Shining and lovely again.
God, make me brave for life; much braver than this.
As the blown grass lifts, let me rise
From sorrow with quiet eyes,
Knowing Thy way is wise.
God, make me brave, life brings
Such blinding things.
Help me to keep my sight;
Help me to see aright
That out of dark comes light.

Author Unknown

Little pitchers have bad timing

2007-04-10T09:06:00.000-07:00

Yesterday while watching his fish, Jack nearly fell off of our stepstool because of the slippery footie pyjamas he was wearing. I saw it happening from across the kitchen, and made a run for him while an expletive fell naturally from my lips. Though I'm trying to mend my ways, cursing comes easily enough to me that I don't always realize I've cursed in the heat of the moment. Well, this morning, and only 3 days away from his grandparents' visit, Jack reminded me of what I said. He was "helping" me vacuum when he switched the power button off accidentally. "OH SH*T!" he announced. Then he proceeded to turn the vacuum on and off, on and off, each time repeating his newly aquired exclamation. "How about 'Oh NEAT'?" I suggested. He ignored me. A few minutes later we were on the back porch taking out the recyclables when we heard a plane overhead. "Oh SH*T! Plane!"

Apparently, my words needed to germinate in that little noggin for 24 hours before he could take them out for a test drive. I can't wait until tomorrow when I'll find out what it was I said when the cat tried to scratch him this morning. I'm pretty sure it wasn't "Oh, NEAT!"

Happy Easter!

2007-04-07T18:25:00.000-07:00

No yard pictures yet (it snowed here today!) but here are a couple of Easter photos. This is Jack's first Easter basket. Since he's not quite two, there's only one piece of candy in there - a chocolate bunny of course. The rest of the basket contains toys, chunky books, fingerpaints, and playdough. The plane on top will likely last only 5 minutes, but what a great 5 minutes it will be! Thanks Aunt Sharon for all the great ideas for the basket. You were a big help!

This is a pic of my table centerpiece. The rabbit dish is made for eggs, but since I didn't dye any, I improvised with the daffodils that had been knocked down by the snow.

HAPPY EASTER!!!

URGH!!

2007-04-06T09:42:00.000-07:00

I'm sorry I haven't been updating much lately. I've been going a bit project-wild around here while the weather's been a bit warmer, but no so warm that the BEES are too active. It's definitely my favorite time for yardwork, and this is the first time in 7 years that I've had the ability to really focus on the yard and give it the attention it needs. It's been fun being outside with Jack, who loves to "help" with shoveling and raking. I'm also getting some invaluable help and ideas from our dear friend, Bill, who's a Landscape Architect. SCORE! So hopefully I'll get a chance to post some yard pics soon. Happy Spring, and Happy Easter!

A boy, a Jeep, a couple of dogs. A good day.

2007-03-26T18:14:00.000-07:00

Currently enjoying

2007-03-14T16:25:00.000-07:00

Discovered any good reads/tunes/eats lately that you'd like to share?

It's Official

2007-03-05T09:02:00.000-08:00

I am mannish.

I've always feared that my facial features were less than feminine, what with the total lack of cheekbones, thin lips, and prominent jawline. Then recently, I saw an ad for a website where you could upload your picture to find out which celebrity you most resemble. So for fun, I uploaded a picture of my face. According to them, I most resemble Pierce Brosnan. OK, not a bad looking guy, but he's a DUDE. Worse, I share a 57% likeness with Tim Allen. (insert Home Improvement "Ayuhh?") Yeah. It was bad news all the way around.

Fast forward to yesterday. We're getting ready to grocery shop, so Michael puts on an episode of Jack's Big Music Show to occupy the baby while we get our things together. It was the Ground Hog Day episode with a guest appearance by Jon Stewart, who plays a roving reporter. Jon Stewart enters and Jack points excitedly at the screen. "Mommy!" he exclaims. I look at Michael. Oh good God, he's laughing. To be sure, I point to the TV and ask Jack "Who is that?" "Mommy! Mommy!" He answers happily.

The author Chuck Palahniuk wrote that most people, if they knew how they really look as opposed to how they *think* they look, would go insane. Well, folks, according to my son, this is what I look like.

So, not only am I mannish, I am now also insane.

Dad vs. Mom

2007-02-27T10:33:00.000-08:00

************************************************

>> "So, you think Jack might be ready for his first haircut soon?"

>> "WHAT? NO! Why do you say that?"

>> "It's just...he's starting to remind me of Grandpa Munster."

************************************************
Honestly, I don't know where he gets these ideas.

A Word of Thanks

2007-02-24T07:44:00.000-08:00

Our dearest friends are moving here from Chicago. In just a few months, we'll be neighbors. My good life is about to get so much better, and I'm feeling very thankful. I'm also grateful to them for all they did to make it happen.

I know it hasn't been easy, guys, but you have been the epitome of grace under pressure. We love you, and can't wait till you're here!

Huh

2007-02-15T17:58:00.000-08:00

Well for some reason, Blogger nixed four of the photos in my original Valentine's Day post, so I am posting them again here.

St. Valentine's Day Ice

2007-02-14T10:00:00.000-08:00

(Click on photos to enlarge)

Who would have guessed

2007-02-09T11:36:00.000-08:00

I have to admit that the news about Anna Nicole Smith's death bothered me more than I would have expected, though I can hardly say I am shocked. She was not someone I paid much attention too, and I certainly wasn't some sort of "fan" of hers, but still... I think it is the combination of the elements of her life that leave me feeling very sad for her. The fact that she lost her son, and that she leaves behind a 5 month old baby. Also the way that she was exploited, and how her dignity was often sold to the highest bidder. There's no denying that she was a mess most of the time, and abused her body and soul, but usually there is alot of darkness behind the scenes of such a life.

So I dunno, it just bothers me. I hope that the media can move on quickly, and not perpetuate the exploitation now that she's gone.

I stand corrected

2007-02-08T20:47:00.000-08:00

Jack has named two of his fish, and regulary refers to them by their new monikers. Contrary to my prediction, they are not "Pishy" and "Pishy." The Black Moor he dubbed "Shark" and the Rosey Red he named "Two."

Go figure.

Pig personality test

2007-01-31T11:55:00.000-08:00

Here's my pig. I went with a very daring aerial view ;)

Draw your own pig first, so you won't be influenced by seeing my results.

Banning the bulb

2007-01-31T11:19:00.000-08:00

Ok, I realize you may be getting tired of me blah blah blahing about cf bulbs, but I just wanted to post *one* more interesting item on the topic. I read this morning that California, that bastion of environmental progressiveness, is considering a ban on incandescent bulbs to begin in 2012.

And the name of the initiative?

The "How Many Legislators Does it Take to Change a Lightbulb Act."

I love it!

For more: http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/energy_california_lightbulbs_dc

Loves fish, hates pants

2007-01-28T09:30:00.000-08:00

Well, the fish bowl has magically turned into a fish tank. The bowl set up was a nightmare to maintain (I don't recommend it for anything other than a betta fish) and we realized that if we wanted healthy fish, we needed an actual tank with a filter system. I put it in the kitchen so that it would be less likely to have a toy thrown through it. It also reminds me of how, in the winter months, my Grandma used to keep the goldfish from her pond in a tank on her kitchen counter. I loved watching them, and as you can see, the fruit did not fall far from the tree.

In other news, I ordered the monkey painting on canvas, and it arrived on Friday. I really needed to see how these digital paintings will look. I am so pleased with the reproduction and now know that the paintings I am working on can be reproduced in this manner and actually look like a painting. The image wrapped around a little on the sides, so I need to adjust it just a bit, but that is a small matter. I'm also happy to report that the printing company uses an environmentally friendly, non-toxic coating on the canvas.

Tomorrow: National Day of Energy Action

2007-01-26T14:28:00.000-08:00

January 27, 2007 will be the first National Day of Energy Action.

Do something to reduce your use. Even if it is just changing one incandescent bulb to a compact fluorescent bulb**. (if every US household replaced just *one* bulb this way, it would be the equivalent of removing 8,000,000 cars from the road!)

For more: http://januarydayofaction.pbwiki.com/

(Thanks Aunt ML for the heads-up!)

** You can get compact fluorescent bulbs at the grocery store, so there's no need to make a special trip. They last 5-7 years, and use 1/4 the energy of a 60w bulb but throw the same amount of light. Buy one each time you shop!

Art update

2007-01-19T12:09:00.000-08:00

The first piece I was working on is now finished. It's just an odd little painting of a monkey with a passion for pears. :) Not yet sure what my plans are for this little painting.

The process currently using is: 1.) do a sketch on paper 2.) photograph the sketch 3.) open the photo in Fireworks and digitally paint the image with my electronic art tablet and pen. The final step will be finding the best way to reproduce the art I am creating. I have not decided yet whether to go with photo prints, prints done on canvas, or something else entirely. Perhaps I'll just decide to scrap the whole digital art process and return to more traditional forms (paint, pastel, etc.), but for now I'm going to see where this approach leads. So anyway, here is the monkey (click to enlarge it):

And here is a little snippet of the piece I'm currently working on:

Lately I've been thinking a lot about the direction I'd like to head in, and I am starting to carve out a theme. Right now I'm spending as much time as I can (during the baby's naps, and in between loads of laundry) working and researching my plans. More info soon!

Jack's first pets

2007-01-17T12:34:00.000-08:00

May I introduce Trapper and Hawkeye, the fish, and Frank Burns, the snail. (I chose the names, because if I let Jack pick them they would be named Pishy, Pishy, and Pishy):

Happy 3rd Birthday, Pups!

2007-01-14T13:16:00.000-08:00

Gus & Prudence turn 3 Years old.

A good start

2007-01-13T13:57:00.000-08:00

Well, I just removed myself from the mailing lists of 10 catalogs that bombard me regularly (see my post below). It really only took about 15 minutes. One I even did online through the company's website, while I was briefly on hold for another.

You'll be asked for your customer number (usually on the back in a blue/pink/yellow box) and from there it's simple. I made sure to tell everyone that it wasn't anything against the company and that my reason was to reduce paper waste for environmental reasons. It can't hurt to spread that message can it? And if we all do it, companies will look for alternatives, like online catalogs sent via e-mail. As I get more paper catalogs, I'll continue calling. I'm sure M will appreciate a much lighter load on recycling day.

Now to compose a brief letter to the Direct Marketing Assoc., then it's time for some Famous Amos chocolate chip cookies.

Monthly Challenge

2007-01-13T13:06:00.000-08:00

As urgency grows for us to find ways large and small to create a less polluted, and more sustainable future for our planet, I have decided to include once-monthly segment on this blog.

CampaignEarth.org offers a monthly challenge, and each month I'd like to post the info here to offer up simple changes that we can all implement to make big changes in our world. Below is this month's challenge:

*************************************

Did you know that more than 17 billion catalogs were distributed in the United States in 2001 - that's more than sixty-four for every man, woman, and child. Not surprisingly, this requires a lot of paper, the fourth most energy-intensive of all manufacturing industries and one of the most polluting. The average American uses over 700 pounds of paper per year. The good news is we've got some simple steps for you to take to greatly reduce that number.

If we successfully reduced the number of catalogs produced in this country by 30% we would:

· preserve 16.6 billion gallons of water each year = the amount of water used by 172,333 households.*

· conserve over 100 barrels of oil

· keep 3.5 million tons of CO2 out of the atmosphere = the amount of CO2 produced by 570,000 cars driven 200 miles/ week annually.*

*Figures from The Alliance for Environmental Innovation (www.environmentaldefense.org/alliance/catalogs_tips.html)

Listed below are three actions you can take to lessen the mail you receive. Take a look at the list and do what you can. Remember, every action counts.

Stop Those Unwanted
Catalogs! Now, with the internet, we can do most of our mail order shopping online. Stack your unwanted catalogs in a pile and spend ten minutes a week calling to request that your name be removed from their mailing list.

Receive Less Junk Mail! Send a short letter to: The Direct Marketing Association, Mail Preference Service P.O. Box 9008 Farmingdale, NY 11735-9008. List your name, in all its infinite variations, and request that all of these names be removed from their national database. This removal lasts five years, so keep this address handy. For more information contact the DMA at 212-768-7277.

Keep Your Catalogs and Magazines out of the Landfill! Many municipalities don't accept catalogs as part of their recycling program so find a second home for them. Keep them out of the landfill by dropping them off at a local hospital, assisted living home, senior residence facility or school(they use them for art classes and other projects). It's the next best thing.

*********************************************************
Now I'm off to grab some catalogues and make some phone calls. Won't you join me?

Fake Cheese vs. Real Cheese

2007-01-12T12:29:00.000-08:00

Total processed cheese food.

The real deal. Pure cheddar, aged 18 months.

And now for a few words from our sponsor

2007-01-08T13:35:00.000-08:00

Howdy. Well, if you're still checking in, thanks. If not, I can hardly blame you. After all, how many times can one be reminded about reindeer franks before giving up? Even though I started preparing for the holidays back in October I still managed to get overwhelmed. I'm glad January is finally here, and our lives are returning to a normal rhythm. I've been giving lots of thought to this blog lately, and it occurs to me that I haven't much time to update. More soon on the main reason for this. I've decided that for now, this blog will mostly be a place where friends and family will find new photos, videos, and the occasional brief update, or interesting blurb from some other, more clever blog.

So now for the reason I have less blogging time. Do you remember way back in May when I started seeing the therapist about my bee phobia? Well, I haven't spoken about her in a long time, but as it turns out, she is someone who works extensively with artists, particularly women artists, and so the nature of our time together has changed. She has now become somewhat of a coach, or mentor for me in my artistic life (such as it currently is). I'm moving forward trying to regain the creative drive I used to have, and attempting to learn the skills necessary to work as a fully fledged artist. With her help, I've started to take steps down the path I hoped I'd walk way back when I decided to quit my university job and stay at home full-time. It feels good to be creating again, and I've been invited to join a small group of women artists who will meet once a month beginning this February. I've never been part of such a group and am somewhat intimidated. Even referring to myself as an "artist" feels strange. Art has mostly been my "side thing," and so I've always felt like a bit of an imposter around working artists. The one thing that eases my mind is knowing that these other women are in similar states of transition. They are mothers, wives, students, or all three, who are seeking ways to flesh out a career based on their craft. I'm excited about this opportunity, and hope that it suits me.

As for this blog, you'll have to excuse me for the infrequent posts. I don't want to stop posting all together, but for now this blog will be mostly a photo blog with brief updates. If possible, and if I'm feeling brave, I may post images of my work as I progress. Right now I'm finding lots of inspiration from a most unexpected source: children's books. My 18 month old son loves to be read to, and I'm impressed with the vibrant artwork in many of the books. I've been writing down my ideas, and have begun one painting so far. Here's a sneak preview:

I'll keep you posted, and will let you know how those monthly meetings go...

AN UPDATE!

2007-01-08T13:27:00.000-08:00

Well, ok. Just some pictures I took today.

The boy with a rock.

Gusly Gustersen.

Prudence.

Mean but pretty Marley.

You know Dasher and Dancer

2006-12-12T11:47:00.000-08:00

and Oscar, and Meyer?

Reindeer dogs served up in the Windy City.

What the.......? Ew.

Jolly Dogs

2006-12-04T21:02:00.000-08:00

Prudence, Gus, and their cousins in festive headgear (click image to enlarge).

Call the men in white coats...

2006-11-24T10:07:00.000-08:00

We've decided to do a bit of Christmas shopping at Target. With a one year old. On Black Friday.

Sights of Fall

2006-11-14T13:18:00.000-08:00

Lately I've been wanting to devote more time to updating this blog and our family website, but life's gotten a bit hectic. Also, Jack is cutting his first molars, and boy howdy is he grumpy. I can hardly blame the kid, especially when I got a glimpse of the marble-sized lumps in his bottom gums. The best remedy seems to be spending extra time with him, and I'm happy to oblige. Meanwhile, we're spending a small fortune on infant tylenol and infant motrin. Athough it nearly costs as much per ounce as gold, it is far more valuable. To me anyhow. How ever did parents get through teething bouts in the olden days? Oy. Well, Jack has noticed that I'm on the computer and is protesting so I've got to go. I leave you with some pictures I took today while doing a bit of yardwork.

Sumac. I think.

Leaf stains on the concrete.

More leaf prints. I thought these were pretty. They reminded me of frescoes.

Dang. Cannot remember the name of this plant. Dad? Sharon?

The Next Generation

2006-11-07T09:37:00.000-08:00

Representin'

2006-11-01T21:02:00.000-08:00

More munchkin pictures here, here, and here.

Happy Halloween & Anniversary

2006-10-31T11:50:00.000-08:00

22 years ago in a small upstate NY town, I set out with my good buddy Steve to stir up some Halloween mischief. We were 13, and considered ourselves too cool for costumes. Instead we dressed in black and armed ourselves with eggs, shaving cream, and toilet paper. Along the way we met up with a group of guys that Steve knew. One in particular made me suspicious when he called Steve aside and spoke quietly to him while glancing in my direction. Since I was the only girl in the group, I concluded that he was trying to convince Steve to ditch me. I immediately labeled him "jerk" and glowered at him the rest of the evening.

As it turned out, he was asking Steve if I was his girlfriend, and when Steve said "No," Jerk said "Good, because she's going to be mine." A few weeks after that Halloween in 1984, we started dating. I found out that he was not a jerk at all, but instead a pretty amazing guy. Lots of togetherness and apartness ensued thereafter, with plenty of teenaged drama. After 13 years we realized that we were meant for eachother and got married. That amazing guy turned into an amazing man, and Halloween and the number 13 turned out to be lucky. At least for me they are.

So Happy Halloween everyone. Parents of teenage girls (yeah, I'm talking to you Bets) keep in mind that the guy your daughter is dating, who you think is just a phase, may be a son-in-law someday. How's THAT for a scary Halloween story? He he he.

In Jack news, he's dressing as the red member of the Lollipop Guild. Pictures to follow, of course ;)

Happy 4th Birthday, Sweet Girl!!

2006-10-26T16:15:00.000-07:00

Total Eclipse of My Son

2006-10-12T19:26:00.000-07:00

Reigning Cats or Dogs?

2006-10-05T12:29:00.000-07:00

I am definitely a born dog person. It is not that I don't like cats, I do. I've known some wonderful cats, but it's just that well, cats perplex me. You can't train them. They train you. Maybe cat people are far more zen than I am, but I like to know that I can have even just a tiny bit of influence on my pet's behavior. Now before you cat lovers flame me, hear me out. About 4 years ago we got a sweet little sweetie of a kitten. She was an adorable fuzz-ball who grew up into a mean, bitey, foot-attacking menace. She is a very pretty cat with grey fur on top and white fur underneath, who looks inviting and pettable. Visitors to our home who are crazy enough to try petting her are taught the following rhyme: Touch the grey, you're ok. Touch the white, bite, bite, bite! For those who prefer a visual aid, we provide a handy chart. Now as for this mean behavior of hers, I cannot think of anything we did to cause it, and I certainly can't find a way to cure it. But lest you think this post is meant to discourage people from having cats, on the contrary. I would instead suggest that anyone interested in getting a cat think seriously about adopting an adult cat from the pound. Those fuzzy wuzzy kittens will find homes, trust me. It's the adult cat who's future is most uncertain. The best cat we ever had was an adult we adopted from a shelter. I was able to spend time with him, and handle him and find out what a great guy he was. Kittens can change, people.* They are ticking time bombs! Save an adult cat today!

Now back to dogs - I love dogs because they like to be part of the pack, and therefore, most of them want to be with you and to know the rules. I also like the inevitably fun idiosynchrosy in any dog's personality. For instance, we had a poodle who couldn't swim. He sank like a stone in water. I actually had to rescue him once from the bottom of a lake, and finally had to teach that dog to swim. Really!

Now we have two dogs who are brother and sister lab/boxer mixes. They look like night and day, and have very distinct personalities. Prudence is squirrely and goofy and whenever we return from an outing, she must greet us with an object. It's like an offering to her gods, and very good for the ego. She'll pick up anything - toy, sock, leaf - and bring it humbly to our feet. She's very shy with strangers, but loves the baby and watches over him like a mother hen. Gus, while loving, is serious minded and a total rule follower. Except for when it comes to one temptation: butter. It's my fault really. We never allow our dogs to have people food, but one time I gave in and let him lick up a little butter that I had dropped. It was all over after that. Though he weighs 88 pounds, he can jump the gate to the kitchen as softly as a gazelle, eat a stick of butter (wrapper included), jump again, and return to his bed in about 10 seconds flat. We should probably have his cholesterol checked. It's an expensive habit, but really, who could get mad at this face? So we just practice good butter stewardship in this house. It's all about prevention.

So, are you a cat person or a dog person (or neither), and why? And if you have some cat training tips, please feel free to share them.

*A certain beloved friend's eyes are no doubt rolling as she reads this. Several years ago, I gave her and her husband a kitten who now makes my cat look like Mother Theresa.

15 Months Old!

2006-09-29T12:17:00.000-07:00

The ex files

2006-09-26T11:09:00.000-07:00

A recent post over a dooce.com about relationship deal breakers got me thinking about the things that were deal breakers back in my dating days. A few of the real things that lead me to call it off were rather comical. They include:

· a boyfriend bought a pair of these, and wore them constantly. (I can't believe they are back in style, by the way.)

· a blind date took me to a restuarant, and when we arrived 15 minutes early for our reservation he suggested we sit in the car and snuggle.

· a guy I was seeing would call me while he was watching TV, and just.watch.tv. While I sat there listening to him breathe and eat snacks.

Then there were the guys who committed the sin of being too nice. As an adult, I no longer believe that nice guys (or gals) finish last. But it certainly seemed true in the teenage world. I didn't like the jerks either, but you had to be a tiny bit of a selfish rebel, or I would lose interest fast.

Other more general deal breakers for me included:

· rude to waitstaff/service people (how you treat your waiter says alot about your character, I have found)

· braggarts

· compulsive liars

· bad hygeine

· did I mention these?

So, what are some of your actual, and hypothetical deal breakers?

How cool is this?

2006-09-25T20:42:00.000-07:00

Virgin Group is a company to get behind, people. Chairman Richard Branson has pledged one hundred percent of his company's profits for the next 10 years to combat global warming. That's 3 billion dollars. Talk about leaving a legacy!

Here's the story:
http://www.enn.com/today.html?id=11301

Nine Years Ago Today

2006-09-20T10:31:00.000-07:00

Happy 9th, my love!

Thank you

2006-09-19T10:20:00.000-07:00

Thank you dear friends and family members for your kindnesses and expressions this past week. It means so much to us to know Olivia is remembered.

Last week was draining and difficult, and now this week requires some catching up on all the things I've neglected. I had one of those universal nightmares last night - you know, the one where you're back in highschool and arrive at class completely unprepared? I had to give a paper in front of the class, and it was only half-written. When I stood to read it, all the words just ran together and melted down the page, so I threw my hands up and said I was sorry because that was the best I could do just then. I guess that pretty much sums up how I've been feeling recently.

This year we took a family trip to commemorate the day, and had a really great time together. Despite our sadness, the anniversary is a time to remember the blessings, too.

Keeping the days quiet

2006-09-14T10:31:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow is the fifth anniversary of the birth and death of our daughter Olivia. I am always unprepared for how fresh my memories remain, despite the passing of another year. Her birth was only days after the attacks of 9/ll, and also coincided with the changing season and the cooler weather, so as the anniversary approaches the sorrow is impossible to escape. I have learned that it is best to spend these days quietly; remembering her, and concentrating on only the essential tasks. I find peace by reading through the cards and letters sent to us by family and friends, every one of which I saved and treasure. I hope to return, renewed, very soon.

OK, S, I took it too

2006-09-02T11:14:00.000-07:00

How Old is Your Inner Child?

My inner child is sixteen years old!

Life's not fair! It's never been fair, but while adults might just accept that, I know something's gotta change. And it's gonna change, just as soon as I become an adult and get some power of my own.
Take this quiz!

Looks like I'm doomed to spend my adulthood in a permanent state of bershon.

So many things to point to

2006-09-01T10:46:00.000-07:00

And now for some fun stuff

2006-08-24T11:15:00.000-07:00

A couple of weeks ago, M was out of town on his annual camping trip. While he was away I decided to do some clearing of clutter and organize the closets and cupboards. In a box under the bed I came across my highschool yearbook. The year was 1989 and the hair was big. Though I never really thought of myself as a gal with "mall hair," I realized I most certainly was, and my hair was perhaps the mally-est in my entire class. Because I can hardly bear looking, I have posted a link to the picture here.

Tucked inside the yearbook, I discovered two clippings of ads I designed in the early 90's. I did the ads for a groomer for whom my sister was working at the time. I don't usually do cartoons, so I remember having fun with these. The woman paid me 60 bucks per ad, and I remember how great it felt to get paid for my artwork. That may have been the first time I was paid for my work, come to think of it. Anyway, here they are:

And getting back to the topic of hairdos, this morning I snapped this picture of Prudence trying out a new look:

Bravo, Baby Talk Magazine!

2006-08-11T19:18:00.000-07:00

Apparently there has been some recent outrage over a photo of a breastfeeding baby on the August cover of Baby Talk Magazine. I actually think the cover is lovely, and I applaud them for their decision to publish it.

I absolutely support any mother regardless of how she decides to feed her baby. Most people agree, though, that there is proven and growing evidence about the benefits of breastfeeding. If images like this help us all become more comfortable with it then that is a wonderful thing.

Recently, the Ad Council released some unfortunate media bits meant to promote breastfeeding. They instead succeeded primarily in offending women who have, for a variety of reasons, chosen to formula feed. The ads depicted pregnant women doing all sorts of risky things (log rolling, riding mechanical bulls, etc.) and the slogan was something like "You wouldn't take chances with your baby before birth. Why start after?" In other words, their message is that bottle feeding is a dangerous choice. I think it's their tactic that is dangerous. It is also unfair. They chose shock-value over education. Can we not encourage breastfeeding while still respecting individual choice? And besides, why not aim their ads at fathers? This is not just a women's issue. If you do not have a supportive partner, it is unlikely that you will continue to breastfeed. While we're at it, why not target businesses that make it hard for working moms to even have the choice? If I'd returned to my former job, it would have been nearly impossible for me to continue to breastfeed. There was nowhere, other than a public bathroom, where I could have used a pump.

As a society we can make breastfeeding easier. The positive long term health effects mean a lifetime of lower medical expenses, and that benefits everyone. But having said that American society needs to change, I would also say that it is harmful to perpetuate the idea that any woman who publicly breastfeeds will inevitably be met with hostility. I have been feeding my baby in public for over a year now and have never encountered one unkind individual. Yes, I know incidents happen, but real statistics would be helpful to ease women's fears.

It is also important to say that just because a woman chooses and is able to breastfeed doesn't automatically mean she is scornful of her formula-feeding counterparts. Likewise, women who bottle feed are not by default anti-breastfeeding. The term “mommy wars” is commonly used in the media today, and I am tired of it. I know lots of moms, and we're not fighting - we're doing the best we can.

So thank you, Baby Talk. Let's hope more publications follow suit, and that more women find the information and support they need to embrace their right to breastfeed anywhere they choose.

*************EDITED TO ADD ******************

I just found Baby Talk's featured article online (here if you want to read it), and some of the statistics are shocking. For instance, The Journal of the American Dietetic Association did a national poll recently. 57 percent believe that women should not have the right to breastfeed in public! Encouragingly, though, breastfeeding is not illegal in any state, and there are several states that have breastfeeding-specific legislation. And I love this: a license that mothers can carry to hand to anyone who gives them a hassle in public.

And as for those statistics about being hassled in public? Baby Talk did a poll and found about 1/4 of the respondents had been made to feel uncomfortable when nursing in public at some point. Unfortunately, the article didn't offer information on the number of incidents per person, or what kinds of incidents they were.

So we have a long way to go, no doubt, but the good news is that more and more women are trying to nurse. Now we just have to work to increase support from hospitals, partners, the workplace, and the American public.

Do you speak the same language?

2006-08-09T10:00:00.000-07:00

OK, I've been reading on some other blogs about a book called The Five Love Languages. I haven't read it, since I am not really into relationshipy-type books, but there is a quiz at the end that you and your partner are supposed to take to determine your own particular "love language." The 5 languages are Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service, and Physical Touch. It seems a bit gimmicky, but the basic idea that it is important to understand what makes your partner feel loved, vs. what makes you feel loved does seem logical. And like I said, I have not read the book, so I cannot pre-judge. The idea of the quiz intrigued me though, and being a cut-to-the-chase kind of gal, I immediately set out to find it online. Here are my results, and I must say they are fairly accurate:

Total A - Words of Affirmation: 11

Total B - Quality Time: 7

Total C - Receiving Gifts: 0

Total D - Acts of Service: 7

Total E - Physical Touch: 5

My primary language is Words of Affirmation. I am a praise and compliment sponge. I don't have much need for gifts from my spouse, though a gift of an experience, like concert tickets, is very much appreciated since that also satisfies my desire for quality time.

Anywhoo, I plan to force my husband into taking the quiz. It could be interesting, but having known him for 22 years I could practically do it for him. For instance, I know that he really enjoys receiving gifts. The only problem is, when I decide to get him something, he usually beats me to it. Or, if I do manage to surprise him, I'll get the wrong thing. Like a DVD in fullscreen format, or the boots without the vibram soles, or the jacket in Tin cloth instead of Oil cloth. It is just too intimidating! So I've accepted that I am out of my league, and let him pick out his own gifts, which some might find unromantic, but neither of us minds a bit. I'd also guess that he will score high on Acts of Service. He is always very appreciative of even the smallest favor or thoughful act.

So, if you and yours want to give it a try, the quiz can be found here. Feel free to post your results in the comments section if you like. And if you have read the book, please do share your opinions!

Good Grief!

2006-08-07T11:39:00.000-07:00

Recently I undertook a new web design project that has forced me to learn Macromedia Flash in a big hurry. Fortunately, I always seem to learn and perform best when I'm under the pressure of a tight deadline. My dear friend and former college roommate can tell you that she suffered through many of my late-night art project sessions, as, in a fit of panic-induced inspiration I rushed to finish before the next day's class.

So because the client for whom I am building this site wants Flash effects, I have been spending my evenings doing some mind-bending tutorials to learn the software. But as is so often the case with learning, once you start, you begin to uncover more and more gaps in your knowledge that must be filled in order to proceed. All of this brings to mind a poster that hung in one of my elementary school classrooms. It was a picture of Charlie Brown surrounded by mountains of books (this being back in the 70's when Peanuts ruled the kid world).

The poster read "The more I learn, the more I learn how much I have to learn."

I hear you, Charlie!

The Man With One Red Shoe

2006-07-31T09:34:00.000-07:00

Everything's amazing when you're one :)

Why I haven't been blogging much lately...

2006-07-29T10:25:00.000-07:00

Big BrMother is Watching

2006-07-25T11:29:00.000-07:00

The time has come for us to purchase a new baby monitor. The one we have now was given to us by my sister-in-law, who used it when her daughter (now a teenager) was a baby. So although it doesn't owe us a thing, it needs to be retired.

The other day I came home and told M that I found a reasonable monitor that actually has a night vision camera that lets you see, as well as hear the baby!! I was so excited.

"No way!" he said. "That's just weird!"
"Why is it weird? He's a baby - he doesn't need privacy! It's not like I'll be using it to keep tabs on him when he's 14!" I lied.

So then I just stubbornly stated that I'm getting it. Period. So what do you think? Is it weird? I would find it comforting. For how long is something like that ok to use? For as long as you'd use a regular monitor? I'm new at all of this.

Please excuse my absence

2006-07-19T19:47:00.000-07:00

There are many things I want to write about, but I am not finding much computer time lately. In the meantime, here's a funky digital portrait I did on my Wacom tablet. It is my parent's Boston Terrier, and the actual painting is 16 x20 inches! I had to zoom in and out on the monitor while creating it.

Updates...

2006-07-06T18:53:00.000-07:00

Tree guy came yesterday and today, and took down the broken limbs, etc. Thankfully, he saved all three damaged trees, and we didn't have to lose any of them completely.

Family is here and I'm happily preparing for the "official" birthday party celebration this weekend. Lots to do, but with all the grandparents/aunts/uncles/cousins, there's always someone willing to play with Jack while I get things done! And he loooooves the attention.

EMDR is going well. Lots of interesting stuff happening. Who knew it would be such hard work!? Originally I was under the impression that you just sit and watch the pretty lights, but it's much more involved and I feel very tired at the end of the sessions. But I really like my doc, and am making progress slowly and steadily.

Jack has 6 teeth now, and is improving his walking skills. He also is a complete water baby - fearless in the pool and tub. He'll stay in the water till his hands and feet are all pruny, and his 6 teeth chattering and protest when you take him out.

One Year Ago Today...

2006-06-29T11:52:00.000-07:00

One year ago today, you officially entered our lives. In the long years spent waiting for you, in our best dreams of your arrival, we could not conceive of just how wonderful you would actually be. Happy birthday to you, our precious son!

Waterfront Property

2006-06-24T08:26:00.000-07:00

Last night Mother Nature decided to do some powerwashing. I’ve heard of those crazy thunderstorms where the sky rains down huge hail, and torrential rains, but until yesterday had never witnessed one. Our town got over 4 inches in less than an hour, turning our front yard into a lake:

Here’s a shot of the poor tree in our yard that was split in half by lightning:

The damage to our yard is unbelievable. My poor gardens, which I finally got around to cleaning up, are crushed and filled with leaves.

Guilty Pleasures

2006-06-17T18:54:00.000-07:00

Today I indulged myself with two things of which I am not proud:

1.) Watched the Discovery Health program about the Duggar family entitled "On the Road with 16 Kids" - which I had recorded on the DVR.

2.) Ate a lunch consisting of an egg salad sandwich, with a side of deviled eggs.

2006-06-17T18:51:00.000-07:00

In order to make up for posting about Jack's milestone before informing family and friends, I now have a new protocol:

1.) Observe Milestone
2.) Call Grandparents, Aunties, Uncles, and Friends
3.) Blog

:o)

Big news, and a big bug

2006-06-16T19:26:00.000-07:00

Jack decided that today was a lovely day to take a walk, and so he did.

It happened exactly as I’d hoped it would. M had taken him out front to watch the dogs play. They were sitting in the grass together, when M stood the baby on his feet and backed off a few paces. Then Jack took a few tottering steps forward into his dad’s waiting arms.

Though I am sad that I missed Jack's first steps, I am so happy about the way it happened. Being home with the baby, I get to see so many of his “firsts.” M has come home time and again to hear “Watch what the baby can do now!” He deserved this one to himself.

In lesser (but still cool) news, today I spied this beauty resting on a shrub. This is a Cecropia moth. It is the largest North American moth, and though it is hard to tell from a picture, her wingspan is about 6 inches. She must have just emerged from her cocoon, as the tips of her wings were still slightly curled and damp looking. She was also covered in the most gorgeous orange fur!

Progress?

2006-06-11T19:32:00.000-07:00

This weekend has been busy busy with company, but I noticed something. During the visits I spent quite a bit of time outdoors, and was feeling less stressed about the whole bee thing. Of course, the skeptic in me believes that it is likely due to the cooler weather, and hence, fewer bees around. But I wasn't my usual, watchful, paranoid self.

A few days ago, I saw a wasp outside and instead of thinking "RUN RUN IT'LL KILL US ALL!" I kind of thought "It's not going to bother you." I even had a few buzz-bys that I handled pretty well, and some honey bees have been swarming the little blooms on the boxwoods, and I'm mostly ok with them. I have to admit that I really do like honey bees. Believe it or not, I think they're kind of cute, in a scary sort of way. Stingy-cute. Their social life and work ethic are most impressive, and I don't think they're agressive like hornets either. Besides, how can you not like an insect that makes HONEY?

So, I'm thinking that it's possible I've made some **small** steps forward with the EMDR. I've had 5 sessions so far.

Radurday

2006-06-03T18:44:00.000-07:00

Today was one of those perfect weather days - 79 degrees and breezy, so no sweat, no bugs. We decided to take Jack to the park a few towns over to an Xtreme Sports festival. While there, we participated in Xtreme vendor browsing, Xtreme kite oogling, and we fed some Xtreme geese down on the river.

After awhile, we took Jack over to the playground so he could crawl around a bit. There, he made friends with a cute little 2 year old boy. Jack was especially curious about the pacifier in the boy's mouth and tried to remove it. "Don't take that from him, sweetie." I said to Jack. "I wish he WOULD take it!" said the boy's grandmother. "It's just the worst habit you can start. I keep tellin' my daughter-in-law that they need to go ahead and TAKE it away from him, cold turkey. Just be done with it!" she added. I smiled politely, and mentally sent my sympathies to the daughter-in-law. Later, as we were leaving the playground M said "Didn't you find the grandmother's comments ironic? I mean, considering she made them between deep drags on her Marlboro?"

11 months

2006-05-29T20:16:00.000-07:00

Dear Jack,

Today you turned ll months old, and I decided to write you and tell you about what you've been up to lately. The past months have brought amazing changes. You've gone from a squishy little bundle I could tuck beneath my chin, to a big, strong boy with places to go and things to do.

Your latest greatest trick is pointing. You started pointing to things only 3 days ago and it is so cool. This morning you made my day by happily pointing to me when I asked "Where's Mama?" The first thing you ever pointed to was the ceiling fan. Ceiling fans rock your world. You are also drawn to anything in which you can pinch your fingers, or upon which you can bonk your head. My gray hairs are multiplying at an alarming rate. I'm not sure what an 11 month old's Utopia would look like, but I'm pretty sure it would involve drawers and cabinets full of TV remotes, and ceiling fans as far as the eye can see.

I thought it was the best thing ever when you first began laughing at the things we would do to amuse you. Now you're doing goofy things to make us laugh, and your sense of humor amazes me. We laugh so much together!

In one month you will be a year old. It seems like a heartbeat ago when I saw you for the first time, as the doctor held you up all purply-pink and outraged. The past 11 months have been a joyful blur. Thanks for being my buddy, and for making every day so fun and so full.

With all my love,
Mom

Stupid Human Tricks

2006-05-25T16:44:00.000-07:00

Ow.

I was outside this evening with the dogs, trying to play ball with them in the front yard. Since my throwing arm is equal to that of a 92 year old man, I decided a better idea would be to kick the ball into the lower yard. So Gus, our 90 lb. lab got a little too excited and as I kicked, he jumped up towards me. My foot connected with his chops, and he made a loud "URF" noise. In my panic to make sure he was ok, I failed to notice the blood burbling out of my foot. So, Gus is thankfully fine, and I've got a nasty puncture wound from his tooth, and one hell of a sore foot. Hope it doesn't get infected.

Back at last

2006-05-25T10:50:00.000-07:00

This past weekend we took a trip to NY to see family and had a fantastic time. Jack is lucky to have such a wonderful and loving extended family. So, between the prep for the trip, the actual trip, and Jack's virus following the trip, time in front of the computer has been a rarity. Jack is feeling much better today, but still catching up on some extra sleep, so here I am!

The EMDR sessions are going well, for the most part. The only stressful part of it is that the therapist is somewhat laid-back, and has been calling me in 15-20 minutes after my appointment time, or keeping me late. If it were just an inconvenience to me I would not mind at all, but since M has to take time from work to watch the baby, I enter the sessions feeling very stressed about the delay. Not a good place to start from. I have decided that I need to broach this subject tactfully at our next session. It could be that she runs late due to a phone consultation, but she needs to be aware that it creates a hardship. I'm just not good with confrontation. *sigh*

Right now it's a little early to decide if I will be successful in this endeavor, though I am very optimistic. We've been doing a lot of talking, and taking of history, and haven't done a whole bunch of work yet with the lightbar. The doc has told me that EMDR focuses on the "first and the worst." In other words, your earliest memory with regards to the phobia, and your worst memory. My earliest with regards to bees had to do with my sister getting stung on the foot at a pool party. I was about 4 or 5 maybe. I remember lots of upset, crying, and mud being packed on her foot to remove the stinger. It is the first event that I can remember where the realization that a bug could hurt me set in. As for the worst, well, that's mentioned in my earlier post. At tomorrow's session, we'll be "processing" that one. I'm feeling a little nervous about it, but am eager to get on with it.

I mentioned previously that there was an emotional component to my first session of EMDR. At that session, I learned that this therapist specializes in trauma and grief counseling. Of course this discovery brought up my own experience with the loss of our daughter, and also the pregnacy losses that followed.

In the nearly 5 years since our baby was stillborn, I have never sought grief counseling. There are 4 primary reasons for this: one, I have lots of support from other women who have been through similar experiences, two, I was too busy pursuing the medical reasons for our losses, and attempting to have a child to stop and deal with my grief, three, I was (and still am) unsure about discussing these issues with someone who doesn't have direct experience, and four, I still have a very difficult time thinking about or talking about our losses in detail.

For now, I have decided these therapeutic sessions are for the primary goal of helping me cope with my phobia. Whether I decide to continue with grief counseling in this particular setting remains to be seen.

A Happy Mother's Day

2006-05-14T15:44:00.000-07:00

Today

2006-05-12T20:02:00.000-07:00

EMDR, Session One - the technical stuff

2006-05-10T07:49:00.000-07:00

Last Friday I met for the first time with the psychologist/EMDR specialist. It's taken me awhile to collect my thoughts about this initial meeting, but I can say that I am confident that I have found both the right therapist, and the right approach.

We didn't do the "light bar" therapy just yet. This first session consisted of her taking a history from me, and explaining thoroughly about what the process will be like. EMDR has been around for only about 25 years, yet has shown remarkable efficacy in the treatment of PTSD. Much research has been done on the effects of EMDR treatment on Vietnam veterans who had achieved very little relief of their PTSD even after years and years of talk therapy.

According to an online article I read about Bessel van der Kolk, an esteemed leader in the area of the body's connection to trauma, and EMDR, talk therapy alone is not always effective in resolving a traumatic event. He says that the trauma memories become "stuck" in the deeper, non-verbal, unconscious areas of the brain (and this is supported by MRI imaging). Therefore, stimulating the conscious, verbal areas in the brain (talk therapy) cannot always resolve the body's reaction to these memories.

In talking to the doctor on Friday, she explained that our brains have a way of working through the traumas (little and big) that we all experience. Our minds process the trauma during REM sleep, and help us to move past it. The memories fade, and the mind heals. An overwhelmingly traumatic or frightening event, however, becomes lodged deeper. The logical part of the brain cannot rationalize and cope, since it is the body that is reacting to the stimulus and memory.

This explains why even though I "logically" recognize that a bee is a relatively small threat, my body explodes in panic none the less. It is a primitive response. I guess I really am a cave woman, after all. My friend says we are cave women with internet access.

But getting back on topic: EMDR activates the mind in a similar way to REM sleep, stimulating both the right and left hemispheres of the brain. The doctor explained that during the light bar sessions, I will be asked direct questions about my traumatic experiences as I watch the light moving from left to right. She said to think of it as a type of "sandwich." The meat would be my memories of the event(s), one piece of bread would be the negative beliefs that accompany that event (like: I will never be able to get past this fear...) and the other slice of bread would be my physical reaction to recalling the event. This might be a tightening in the chest, rapid breathing, increased heart rate, etc. What I am supposed to do is hold this "sandwich" in mind as she asks the questions.

Another major difference from talk therapy is that EMDR therapy has a very narrow focus. She compared it to a chiropractic adjustment: you tell the chiropractor where it hurts, and she focuses on the problem area. The chiropractor doesn't delve into the deeper circumstances of why you hurt yourself, or how you feel about hurting yourself. It is irrelevant to the fix. Likewise, the EMDR practitioner doesn't go beyond the immediate traumatic event or events.

So that is the technical side of session one. More in another post about the emotional side.

Still hayseed enough to say look who's in the big town

2006-05-02T19:38:00.000-07:00

Down on the farm with Pop Pop, and having a great time!

Bee afraid. Bee very afraid.

2006-04-28T18:01:00.000-07:00

On a bright and sunny day last week, I decided that Jack and I would head over to my sister's house to check in on her cat, as she was out of town. I put the baby down in his playpen for a moment, so that I could take the dogs and a big bowl of water outside to the dog run before we left. Ten steps from the door, a bee approached me and began to circle. I completely lost all control and clambered, screaming, up the back steps onto the screened deck. Seconds later I was standing on that deck, drenched in the water from the dog bowl, heart pounding, and shaking all over. It was this precise moment, as I caught a glimpse of myself reflected in the window, that I decided it was time for a change.

Since I was about 8 or 9 I have been utterly terrified of bees, wasps, hornets, and any other number of winged death-beasts. The incident that precipitated this fear is as follows:

One day my little friend Michelle was visiting me at our small farm. I decided I would do some showing off, and began climbing the pear tree in our back yard. When I was about 20-25 feet off the ground, I started shouting down to my friend. It was just then that I became aware of an ominous buzzing. Looking up, I saw that right above me hung one of those enormous hornet's nests, and the residents were not happy. Hornets began pouring from the nest, stinging me, and getting caught in my hair. Because I was in a tree, there was no speedy escape, and I had to climb slowly down, screaming, until my dad came running and I jumped from the bottom branch into his waiting arms.

So now you understand the terror. This one incident has left a deep psychological scar. It has had a negative effect on my life, causing me to miss out on many an outdoor event. I tend to stay indoors on those beautiful summer days when the flowers are in full bloom instead of enjoying my gardens. No, I am not a recluse, but I am especially nervous to go outside alone during summer, and being outdoors where shelter is not readily available is very distressing. I am braver in groups, and will venture out for the occasional hike or kayaking trip, but I am never at ease in my surroundings.

This is no simple fear either - it is a fight-or-flight, I am going to die feeling of dread when a bee chases me. I can rationalize all I want, but when the stimulus is there, I can't control my response. It is not even the pain of a sting that scares me. Needles don't scare me a bit - I can and have given myself many an injection. It is just a hardwired reflex to stinging insects and especially the noise they make. My reactions to bees are so overblown, that if you forced me to choose between catching a bee in my hand, and catching a rattlesnake, within minutes you'd be calling 911 and telling them to bring the antivenin.

So now that I have a child to consider, I have decided to attempt to rid myself of this burdensom phobia. I want to be able to take the baby outside on nice days, without anxiety. Mostly, I DO NOT want him to witness my fear and become afraid himself. A couple of days after the "dog bowl" event, I called a clinical psychologist in our area who specializes in the treatment of phobias, using a technique called EMDR. We spoke by phone, and she assured me that I am a good candidate for this therapy because I have a specific phobia, with a known onset. Apparently, you talk through your traumatic experience(s) while both the right and left side of your brain are stimulated visually (often with lights). This process apparently retrains your brain's responses.

My first appointment is May 5th, and I will go with cautious excitement. It is nearly impossible for me to imagine ever having a normal reaction to something that has caused me terror for most of my life. Truly, though, if it does work, it will mean a whole new world has opened up for me. I will be sure to post updates as I go. I can hardly wait to begin!

Early Mother's Day gift!

2006-04-22T18:06:00.000-07:00

A few months ago I discovered (through another blog of course)the website of a Dutch artist named Lotte Klaver. Lotte posts daily sketches on her website that she draws/paints of babies and children.

When I was an art student, it was understood that children and babies are the most difficult subjects to capture. Their features are soft, and undefined. Their proportions and expressions so different from those of an adult. And babies don't even have knuckles! Just little dimples on the backs of their chubby hands. They are tough, tough, tough. Many artists attempt to successfully paint children, but unless done right, the result can be either creepy or tacky. But Lotte's portraits of children are wonderful, and so original and engaging. They are minimalistic, and yet capture the spirit of children in a way that I've seldom seen. I visit Lotte's site whenever I need to brighten my day.

I found out today that my adorable husband has gotten me an early Mother's Day gift. It is the sketch I've been coveting, since it reminds me of Jack. Thank you, M. You totally rock!

So below is my Lotte Klaver original (shipping out on Monday!) and beneath it, a picture of life imitating art :)

Parenting styles

2006-04-19T12:54:00.000-07:00

In this post I am shamelessly piggybacking on something I read on another blog. This blogger (who recently had twins) asked her readers who are parents about their own parenting styles. She wanted to know what her readers found surprising about the way the actually parent, compared with the way they thought they would parent. As for me, my surprise is that I am a much more confident mother than I expected. Of course I worry a great deal about things mosty beyond my control, but when it comes to making decisions I rarely second-guess myself. I am in no way implying that I am a perfect parent (far from it!), or that my decisions are the best ones - just that I am confident in making those decisions.

Whenever I am at a crossroads, I use my WWCWD trick. That's What Would Cave Woman Do? I imagine our ancient human ancestors caring for their babies, and try to rely on my own instincts, as they did. Of course, Cave Woman had a much tougher life than I have. She spent much of her day procuring the necessities for survival, and I bet she didn't have the time to think about when her baby would begin cross-crawling. But none the less, she must have been a good mother because here we all are. So my point is that I keep her in mind when I'm conflicted, and if something feels right and natural in my gut, then that's what I do.

When I was pregnant, I was a voracious reader, but now that Jack is here I hardly ever look at parenting books. I think a little bit of ignorance can sometimes be a good thing, especially when it comes to milestones. The day before Jack's 9 month appointment I made the mistake of reading the section on 9 month olds in What to Expect the First Year. Suddenly I was worried that Jack was not yet calling me "mama," eating finger foods, pulling himself up on furniture, or sleeping for 12 hours at night. I was certain that I would be in for a stern lecture from the pediatrician. As it turned out, the doctor was perfectly pleased with Jack's progress, and saw no areas of concern. So there you go. Now, I am not knocking all books. I think there are many that are great resources, especially when you need a specific piece of information, or are dealing with an illness. And Dr. Sears' Baby Book really helped to shape our parenting philosophy. My point is that too much reliance on books, and the constant comparisons to other children can lead to needless worry and emotional conflict. A friend of mine (Hi Lou!) says that she no longer reads about milestones, and now she simply delights in all the new things her child does, without worry about when she does them. I think this shows great wisdom.

So I'll ask those of you who are parents the same question posted on the other blog: What about your parenting style did you not expect (good or bad)? Are you the type of parent you thought you would be, and do you/did you read parenting books?

Life-changing

2006-04-12T08:38:00.000-07:00

A friend sent me this link to an NPR piece about a new book called The Omnivore's Dilemma. It is one of the most compelling things I have ever heard, and has forever changed the way I think about food and agriculture.

Synopsis of the interview:
"Journalist Michael Pollan's new book, The Omnivore's Dilemma, follows industrial food, organic food, and food that consumers procure or hunt for themselves, from the source to the dinner plate. It also examines the importance of corn in all of our food products."

This is not a political piece, and will be enjoyed by all, regardless of political leanings. It isn't all about bad news either, and actually left me feeling quite hopeful about our future. So trust me on this one, grab a cup of coffee and take half an hour to listen (click the "Listen" button at the top of the page). You'll be glad you did:

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=5336252

Anywhoo

2006-04-11T18:56:00.000-07:00

I've been wanting to update for awhile now, but seem to have very little extra energy recently. For some reason, I'm having nasty pain in my joints, and totally living for the ibuprophen (thankfully, safe when breastfeeding). I'm not sure what the cause is, and I have this problem from time to time. I've had the tests, including the one for rheumatoid arthritis, but nothing turns up.

So while I wait for it to subside (which it will eventually), I'll post the happy news that Jack stood up by himself for the first time today. I know you'll be shocked, but I actually had a camera nearby (gasp!) and captured the moment. Doesn't he look proud?

Wouldn't Cesar Millan be proud?

2006-04-03T08:40:00.000-07:00

In our house we have a strict "no animals on the furniture" rule.

Martha Stewart can kiss my grits

2006-03-30T09:07:00.000-08:00

Well, poor Jack has been having a rough week. His second bottom tooth sprouted, and it's been making him miserable. On top of that, he's going through classic separation anxiety.

As he inches closer to his goal of true crawling (right now he can commando-crawl on elbows and knees) he becomes increasingly alarmed whenever I step more than 5 feet from him. He will play happily on the floor for hours while I sit nearby, but if I even dare to creep towards the pile of unfolded laundry on the couch, he is outraged.

On the flip side of this, Jack is now able to play independently (as long as I stay close). He no longer requires my participation in every activity, and will completely lose himself in his toys. It does something funny and hurty to my heart, watching him as he gathers an assortment together and explores. To see him study his pile, pausing with his chubby starfish hand in the air as he decides which toy interests him the most. These simple little moments remind me that he is his own person, and won't be my baby for long. But for right now, he prefers to have me near, and because of this invisible 5 foot tether between us the housework is really suffering.

Back in June of last summer, the night before we left for the hospital to have Jack, I had the house in perfect order. Some of this was "nesting" but I was also aware that I would be in the hospital for several days, and there would be a steady stream of visitors when we returned. I remember my mom coming over that night. She told me to take a good long look at my neat house, because it would never look that way again. Turns out she was right.

I am one of those people who likes my house to be spotless when guests drop by, but I'm having to get over that in a big way. If you drop by these days, you'll no longer find fresh cut flowers tied up in grosgrain ribbon, and new vacuum tracks on the rug. Instead, you may think that a Fisher Price factory exploded in my living room. But, I hope you'll understand, because I now accept that there will be plenty of time for housework when Jack is older. Right now, I'd much rather sit nearby and watch him play. As Martha would say: It's a good thing.